Some thoughts on being a mom of a teenager. . . .

I am a mother of a teenaged girl, and all that entails.  We have a wonderful relationship, complete with the common daily ups and downs, but I desire for us to be closer and have those heart to heart moments you see advertised as what constitutes a close, intimate relationship. 

Reality being what it is in the modern-day American life, I know that without God and His touch upon my life and in our relationship, we will grow apart rather than closer.  Friends, media, and outside influences are bombarding my daughter with messages that are anti-family, anti-God, and anti-modesty.  How can I possibly compete with so much that seeks to bring her heart away from me?

One way that I intend to be intentional in seeking out her heart is to start a weekly study with my daughter and spend time together with her, alone, over a cup of tea (mint preferably :-).  I have been praying and seeking God to know what He wants me to do to prepare for best caring for our relationship and seeking a deeper intimacy with each other as she walks over the bumpy path of growing into a woman, with my help. 

This is what He shared with me.

1. Become a student of my daughter

I must know what makes her heart beat and what things are her passions.  I must seek to know her likes, dislikes, and seek to experience her life, as she does!  Intimacy comes from shared experiences; perhaps I even need to listen to her radio station in the car (! :-)  and get to know her friends.  In becoming a student of my daughter, I learn who she is and what makes her unique.

2. Become available and flexible with my time

We run around in circles it seems in our society with the many obligations and schedules we try to keep up with each day.  The first thing that suffers when we get too “busy” is our relationships; family time and the ability to be there for our children cannot be scheduled into when it’s convenient for us.  My daughter needs me, more than any committee, ministry, or organization.  May I be there, ready, when my daughter looks to me, even for something trivial.  Being there for something small means I can be trusted and available for the bigger things in her life.

3. Become her safe place and tenderhearted

My daughter is longing to feel accepted and safe with someone; I hope to be intentional and available in being that person in her life who is able to hear her out, pray with her, and then support her as she faces what life is throwing at her.  If a mom isn’t available, then most daughters seek out another sympathetic ear or shoulder to support her and give her advice. Although I am not perfect and do not have all the answers, I pray that I can remember that when I turn her away by my attitude or actions, I am opening the door for her to seek out what she needs from me from someone else.    

I know that many ups and downs lie ahead; I know also that God will lead me as I lead her.  Although I am not a perfect mom, I know the Perfect One with all of the answers and I will remember the three things He placed on my heart today.  Praise you Father for your Wisdom!

Be blessed – reaching for the Hem!

---Gina