Thursday, November 10, 2011

Where have I been????

It's been over two months since I have posted, I think.  My good intentions at being a dedicated and faithful blogger have fallen by the wayside of daily life - - - although I still love being able to write when the mood strikes, the mood strikes when I am in the middle of something more urgent it seems.

Anyway, I have been meaning to come and pop in here for a while and share something that God has been impressing upon my heart lately.  I seem to have come upon a stage in my life where God has been leading me towards stillness, solitude, a quiet heart and life.  This is something I have desired in theory my entire adult life, but in practice it has taken some HUGE adjustments on my part to deal with the reality of it.

I am not living life in a stress-free and calm bubble - no, far from it, but I am being led to a place where my strength, health, and even my voice are only possible on a daily basis through HIM and Him alone.  I am a singer, a teacher, a leader - - - and I rely on my voice to be there for me.  I seek to meet the needs of those around me and accomplish many things each day - - - but there are days now in my health recovery journey where I have to take it as it comes.  I have good days and even better days and I am learning that it is only through God that I have what I need for each day, and that I have to rely on Him to have peace in that.

I have always relied on hard work and dedication to help me achieve many of my goals, but now my goals are changing and becoming very home and family-centered.  I don't feel a need to get myself out there right now.  I am enjoying homemaking, homekeeping, some volunteering, and nurturing others, especially my husband and my kids.  It's been a struggle in dealing with lowered energy and my voice having no strength. . . but in the silence of it all I am hearing God's voice clearer than I ever have before.

Rather than struggle and fight against this time of quiet and stillness, I am choosing to embrace it as God's plan for me right now.  Although the enemy wants to steal my voice and my ability to lift my voice in praise and prayer, I can still rejoice that he can't take my joy and the spirit of prayer and praise from my heart!

Sometimes I have fear that I won't recover, I won't reclaim my voice, that this is how it's going to be from now on - but then the LORD rushes in with His peace and I take another step to trust Him in the process.  You can't rush healing and I am ready to take the time I need to get back to full health and balance in my life, and hopefully, keep my eyes on Him, soaking in the lessons of this stage He has placed me.

Ecclesiastes 3

1To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
 2A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
 3A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
 4A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
 5A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
 6A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
 7A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
 8A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

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--- Gina