I am on the cusp of being able to live my dream - - - and that thought of that overwhelms me sometimes. I have been given the chance, the calling, the opportunity to invest my life in my husband, children, and our home "full-time" for the first time in my life and the reality of it both excites and overwhelms me. I want to do this thing "right"- I want to make sure to cross my t's and dot those i's and not leave anything to chance. I want to be intentional and make every minute count... and then perfectionism rears her ugly head.
I've lived under the thumb of not feeling like I measure up, that I am failing myself and those that depend on me - - even when I know that the reality of that isn't true. I can see the truth of what I am doing each day, I know the effort I am putting out, but I admit that I still fight the feelings and sin of trying to look like I have it all together.
To combat that old rut of perfectionism and it's cousin, fear of failure, I know that I will need to focus on what is inside my four walls each day, spend time in laughter and in enjoying the satisfaction of working and learning together to make an awesome life for the five of us - and it's going to be such a wonderful time, I know it.
I will admit here and now that this opportunity doesn't come to me easily and I cherish my husband's hard work and listening ear to God's leading of our family into this. I have prayed for this chance for so long; it truly is an answer to prayer.
I will not let the fear of failure steal my destiny and rob me of my opportunity to step into God's leading and call upon my life during this blessed season of mothering, teaching, and ministry. If you drop by my house from now on, be prepared to encounter messy, blessed, happy, chaotic, and cherished moments of the five of us living out life together. I wouldn't want to miss the opportunity of what is to come as I follow Him into the next step of life and learning.
This post is part of the Five Minute Friday Post at The Gypsy Mama